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Crow's-Feet Chronicles: The Whack-a-Mole Campaign
By Cindy Baker Burnett
Nov 5, 2018
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First it was Ted Cruz ignoring his never-got-on-the-ballot Vice-Presidential running mate, Carly Fiorina, when she fell through the trap door on the campaign stage. Then it was his wife Heidi getting clobbered, not once but twice, by her never-got-on-the-ballot Presidential hopeful husband. There ought to be campaign combat pay for the less-than nimble key players during a Presidential election.

But on-camera celebrity stumbles and bumbles are not just for the United States. In 1984, Prime Minister Bob Hawke didnít fall

over, but he copped a nasty bonk in the face when playing cricket. A rising bouncer smashed into his glasses and shattered them. Lacerations, yes. Blindness, no.

Then in 2004, Cuban dictator Fidel Castro tripped on a step and fell off the platform and to the ground after delivering a speech on stage at a graduation ceremony. He quickly returned to say he was ďall in one piece,Ē but later it emerged that the then 78 year old had suffered a broken left knee and a hairline fracture in his upper right arm.

And in 2007, then Prime Minister John Howard tripped on his way to a radio interview in Perth. He fell flat on his face, but only his pride was bruised.

It wasnít Indian politician Nitin Gadkariís fault, but he took a nose dive when the stage he was using for an election rally collapsed. He brushed himself off and returned his red face to the podium to address the crowd.

Former Australian PM Julia Gillard had her fair share of embarrassing pratfalls, but at least she had the excuse of high heels. The one at the Gandhi Memorial was particularly memorable.

Republican presidential hopeful Bob Dole fell off the stage at a rally in California during the 1996 US Presidential campaign. He wasn't seriously hurt, but the embarrassing fall didn't stop voters thinking the then 73-year-old Dole was too old and frail for the White House.

In 2013, Pakistani politician and former cricketer Imran Khan fell from a forklift as it was lifting him onto a 15ft-high stage during an election rally in Lahore. He was seen being led away to hospital with blood on his head, and injured his spine. "Imran Khan is alright," a party spokesman said. "He has been taken to the hospital for first aid. He will be back to very soon after getting initial treatment."

President Ford falling down the steps of Air Force One launched our giggle boxes. We enjoyed the same kind of chuckles when President Trump walked up the steps to Air Force One with toilet tissue trailing from his shoe.

Donít worry. Democrats have had their fair share of pitFALLS. Jack-be-nimble Barrack Obama stumbled coming down the Air Force One steps, but his agility salvaged his dignity. And, Hillary Clinton stumbled TWICE descending the same staircase in India.

During this weekend when we adjust our clocks, it seems like a good time to suggest to our stumbling politicians:

Fall back! 

cindybaker@cableone.net