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Let's Reminisce: Laughter is the best medicine
By Jerry Lincecum
Dec 11, 2018
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My favorite poet, E. E. Cummings, once wrote "The most wasted of all days is one without laughter." Having grown up on the Reader’s Digest and Saturday Evening Post, I still love humorous anecdotes and cartoons.  None of these is original with me, but neither are they copyrighted by anyone else.

 

False Teeth: The woman went to her dentist to have her false teeth adjusted for the fifth time.  She said they still didn’t fit.  “Well,” said the dentist, “I’ll do it again this time, but no more.  There’s no reason why these shouldn’t fit into your mouth easily.”

 

“Who said anything about my mouth,” she answered.  “They don’t fit in the glass on my bedside table.”

 

The Boss: “A lot of people complain about their dumb boss,” said George Burns.  “What they don’t realize is that they’d be out of a job if their dumb boss was any smarter.”

 

Small Talk: A man asked one of his acquaintances how his wife was; then, suddenly remembering she had died, he blurted out: “Still in the same cemetery?”

 

Hellfire: A Texas oilman died and went to heaven.  After a few days his bragging got on St. Peter’s nerves.  No matter what part of paradise he was shown, the man claimed it failed to measure up to Texas.  Finally St. Peter took him to the edge of heaven so he could look straight into hell.  “Have you got anything like that in Texas?” the saint demanded.

 

“No,” the oilman replied.  “But I know some ol’ boys down in Houston who can put it out for you.”

 

From a Federal Indictment: At approximately 9:00 a.m., the three defendants entered a Coldwell Banker office and attempted to commit a bank robbery.  Upon learning that Coldwell Banker was not a bank, the defendants left the premises and drove away looking for a bank to rob.

 

Fish Tale: A fisherman accidentally left his day’s catch under the seat of a bus.  The next evening’s newspaper carried an ad: “If the person who left a bucket of fish on the No. 47 bus would come to the garage, he can have the bus.”

 

Sports Fan: An avid Dallas Cowboys fan took his dog to a sports bar one Sunday afternoon to watch the game.  The bartender reluctantly let the dog in, and the pooch sat quietly as the game progressed.  However, when the Cowboys got a field goal, the dog went crazy—barking and running in circles.  “What does he do when they score a touchdown?” the amazed bartender asked.

 

“I don’t know,” replied the owner.  “I’ve only had him two years.”

 

Movieland: Hollywood is the land of make-believe.  Actors pretend they are someone else, and when the movie’s finished, the producers make believe it’s good.

 

Profiling:  Judge: “You described the defendant as having the appearance of a marijuana cultivator.  How do you correlate scruffy hair and marijuana cultivation?”

 

Prosecutor: “Well, I’d say the overall appearance of somebody that grows marijuana is normally somebody that’s scruffy.”

 

Large Print Edition: While sitting in the waiting room of one of my doctors last week I happened to notice among the magazines I could browse a recent issue of the Reader’s Digest.  This was a large print version, and it didn’t take me long to find the section called “Laughter: The Best Medicine.”  Instantly I began to feel better.

 

Jerry Lincecum is a retired English professor who now teaches classes for older adults who want to write their life stories.  He welcomes your reminiscences on any subject: jlincecum@me.com