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Crow's-Feet Chronicles: An all-star cast beats the World Cup
By Cindy Baker Burnett
Mar 4, 2019
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Battle scars and purple hearts are earned at a younger age these days.  When my 6-year-old grandson, Bo, began playing his first year of football (That's right---SIX), he was sporting a neon green Sierra Mist cast on his right arm.  What happened to the old white casts that smelled like a foot after two weeks?  The fact that he broke it on the weekend when he fell from a Polaris didn't make as good a story as being crunched between two colliding helmets in a blood, sweat, and membrane pile up.  Either way, it's a trophy, though. 

If the past few years are any indication, a broken bone can lead to a Heisman Trophy. Remember when Florida Gators Tim Tebow won the Heisman Trophy as a sophomore?  He wore a shaded blue cast on his right arm.  He broke his non-throwing right hand during a play against rival Florida State Seminoles two weeks before the trophy was awarded. 

There's more.  The next year, Sam Bradford of the Oklahoma Sooners injured his non-throwing left hand during a play against rival Oklahoma State Cowboys.  Once again, he won the Heisman Trophy two weeks later and wore a Sooner shaded maroon cast.  There must be something about quarterbacks. 

When Bo's daddy was his age, he broke his collar bone rough housing in the yard (or maybe he was rough yarding).  Collar bones are weird—-It's hard to tell if they're broken.  I'm defending myself because we didn't take him to the doctor for a few days.  At the time, I opted not to let on how badly I felt and simply responded to inquiries with, “Yeah, I finally took Dusty to the doctor when the bone started ripping his good shirts.”

Did I actually disassemble Dusty's football uniforms, wash them, and then reassemble them back in the day?  All I can remember is the green haze in the utility room in the 1980s.  On Thursday before grandson Bo broke his arm on the following weekend, his dad called and asked if I could get Bo ready for football practice that afternoon, since both parents were at work.    When I looked at all the parts, I realized that there was “some assembly required.”  As I tried to wedge a thigh pad into its slot, another pad looked like a better fit.  Then I began confusing football with baseball.  I looked for “the cup” and could find nothing similar.  Remembering back, many times a baseball cup found its way into my clothes dryer.  It was always the thundering noise that got my attention.  Surely, I thought to myself, I'd recognize “the cup.”  It looked like Barbie's colander.  With time running out, I decided to improvise.  Ah-HAH!  A chin strap will do in a pinch.        

And it probably did. 

cindybaker@cableone.net