Crow's-Feet Chronicles: Don't put the metal to the metal
By Cindy Baker Burnett
Aug 20, 2017
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In 1965, my sister enrolled in a Foods and Nutrition college class, where she learned trendy techniques, along with old school tips. Her instructor continued to reuse tin foil from the World War II era. Might have been a generational thing---my dad had the philosophy of "use it up; wear it out; make it do; or do without." 

You say tomahto; I say tomato. You say aluminum foil; I say tin foil. The foil may be the same, but the uses have exploded. Energy efficient windows are great, but tin foil is still being used on the west side of houses to deflect the heat from the sun. And, edges of pie crust continue to be covered with foil to prevent burning. As you know, foil is great to put in the bottom of the oven or on cookie sheets to reduce the clean-up time. 

But, did you know that cutting tin foil will sharpen scissors? And forget the dryer sheets---toss a square of tin foil in the dryer, instead! Further, who knew that wrapping a stripped screw with tin foil would make it go in easier (temporarily, of course)? 

Your aluminum foil, when wadded in a ball, makes an even better scrubber than steel wool. When spread beneath a garment on the ironing board (remember those?), the hot iron will quickly remove wrinkles. You can even place foil around the bases of plants to keep bugs out of your garden, too. Okay, okay, I read about it but haven’t tried it. Why? Because I don’t do gardens. 

Take a moment to shape tin foil into a cone for a quick funnel, since yours is buried somewhere in the sandbox. Wrap hardened brown sugar in foil and bake it in a 300-degree oven for five minutes. Voila! Don’t know what to do with your grease? Simply drape a small bowl with foil; pour in the grease; allow it to harden; wrap it up; and discard it. Brilliant, I tell ya. If your name is Rockefeller and you are loaded with silver, you (rather, your servants) can de-tarnish it by lining the kitchen sink with foil and adding half a cup of salt and half a cup of baking soda. Fill with the sink with hot water and place silver in it for 30 minutes. The tarnish will transfer to the foil. 

If you see people walking around with tin foil hats, go ahead and laugh. They think they’re scrambling the signals from the chips that the government inserted into their brains while they were asleep. What they don’t realize is that it won’t protect them against government surveillance or mind control by extraterrestrial beings, after all. The best thing they can do is to drive a stake into a Zombie. 

Yes, I love my microwave, but there’s nothing like potatoes baked in their tin foil jackets in the oven. But, you won’t see me poke holes in the foil-encased potato when it’s done, and I’ll not cut into the foil with a knife. Either method increases the chances of tiny bits of foil being embedded in the potato. 

Possible result? Electrical nerve pain when a piece of foil finds a metal tooth filling! 

cindybaker@cableone.net