Nothing like a Mother’s spit
In truth, I thought the sentiment was rather ironic, coming from a kid who drank from the water jug in the refrigerator and deposited enough crumbs in it to make it look like a Christmas paperweight.
With two daughters of her own now, Lizann has no doubt learned that mothers are endowed with a spit supply that develops during pregnancy, much like milk glands. After birth, there is an increased amount to fulfill the demands of child rearing.
Mothers need all the spit they can get. At first it seems gross, but you soon adapt to it. How else do you remove a milk stain from a bib? Lipstick kisses from a cheek? Chocolate from lips? Bird doo and mud from shoes? Ice cream from noses? Spilled food from shirts?
Mothers need saliva to tame flyaway hair and cowlicks, remove mustard from car seats, and get fingerprints off walls and doorknobs. They need it to condition swim goggles. (You don’t think kids are going to use their own spit, do you?) With each child, I had a fear that my spit would dry up before I had him/her trained to soap and water.
Parents do a lot of gross things in the name of motherhood and fatherhood. It doesn’t matter on what economic level you live, when a child hands you a shoe with a knot in the shoestring that he has wet on all day long, the first thing you do instinctively is put it in your mouth and try to loosen up the knot with your teeth. If we had an ounce of pride, we’d say, “You put that shoe in my face one more time and I’ll cut its tongue out!”
And what is the first thing you do when a child wants to get rid of his gum? You stick out your hand and say, “Spit it out in here.” You have absolutely nothing in mind as to what you’re going to do with it. It just seems the thing to do.
There isn’t a mother alive who has watched her child play in his food until it looks like road kill and, when he doesn’t want it, hasn’t eaten it herself rather than waste it.
I went on a hiatus from saliva assaults. Since I managed to raise three shiny-faced, cowlick-tamed kids with my own spit without having it piped to the house, I didn’t think much about it for years. I’m thinking about it now, though.
I have 7 grand kids who need it.
cindybakerburnett@outlook.com
